Balancing Grace and Guidance

Our bed after the boys finished  defacing it and surprised us with their mattress masterpiece.over.

Do you teach values or offer grace when your children make mistakes?

Grace Opens the Door

When it comes to balancing grace and correction, I’m learning it’s truly a blend of both. I’ll admit, I’m still working on the grace part—my first response is often anger, frustration, or impatience. So, when those feelings come up, I try to give myself grace first.

If I react too quickly and feel it wasn’t fair, I’ll apologize, or if I feel my reaction was appropriate, I’ll take a moment to explain why I responded that way.

These moments allow me not only to give myself grace but to show my child that I also make mistakes and am willing to apologize. To me, this is the heart of balancing grace with correction.

Balancing Parenting Styles

As I’ve studied both gentle parenting and traditional approaches, I’ve come to appreciate the value in both. Gentle parenting emphasizes compassion and empathy, while traditional methods focus on discipline and consequences, often without much empathy. The issue is that each, taken to an extreme, can fall short. Too much grace without boundaries leaves children without structure and discipline, potentially holding them back from setting and reaching their goals. On the other hand, an overly strict, empathy-free approach can leave children with emotional wounds and unresolved traumas.

The Takeaway?

Offer grace when the situation calls for it and correction when it’s needed. A memorable example of this was when I was putting clothes away on one side of the house, and my boys were unusually quiet on the other. I walked over to my bedroom and found them at my door, faces beaming. “Mama! We have a surprise for you! You’re going to love it; it’s so beautiful!” they said, thrilled. I walked into the room and saw that they’d taken markers and drawn all over my bare mattress, which I’d stripped earlier to wash the sheets. In that moment, I chose grace. To them, it was the world’s biggest drawing board!

In each moment, take a pause and reflect. Remember not to lean too far one way or the other—finding the balance between grace and guidance can create truly meaningful moments.

My Foundations in Christ

As far back as I can remember, my parents took me to church. It was enormous, a giant Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona where I lived until my parents divorced in 1994.

Yet I can still recall the mornings I spent in children’s church playing with nativity sets, Noah and his animals, and coloring scripture pages. I even chose to get baptized at the age of six, just happy to be at the front of the congregation in a small pool of spa temp water, not actually realizing what that really meant.

After forming those core memories, I was able to find a wonderful youth group in High School and fortunately I rededicated myself to my faith, at a time I needed purpose and guidance. I even strayed in college for a time, as I made my mistakes, dated unworthy men, and forged my own path. But Jesus stood on the sidelines, waiting for me to look His way, knowing I would eventually understand that He was the only way.

I’m not able to tell you how many times our family prayed together, or had bible study in our home, if we did it at all. Yet it makes me wonder if I would have had a better understanding of what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus and study the Word of God.

I’m honestly thankful for the exposure we had, even if it was just a “normal” thing for a family in the 80s to do, it had it’s impact on me and when I felt Him beckoning me to return to His flock it was familiar and comfortable. It’s in our nature to follow the influence of our peers and the world, and it’s too easy to fall into a life of selfishness, greed and corruption. But it is less so when a foundation in His teachings of love, kindness, forgiveness and faithfulness is introduced at an early age, and there are studies with evidence showing that 56% of Americans retain their childhood faith (www.pewresearch.org).

I believe it comes down to finding our community, our brothers and sisters in Christ that preach the gospel of Jesus and practices it well. I myself prefer non-denominational worship, a congregation that serves the local people, and a youth program that is strong and diverse.

Religion has taken a backseat for many families over the past two decades and loneliness, anxiety and depression have hit an all time high for many young men and women, especially in their teens. Lack of direction, purpose and guidance had led them to trust what they can see, and that notion is quite overwhelming in today’s world.

A foundation in Jesus offers a deeply-rooted sense of self and less chance of an identity crisis, plus a network of support that the Christian community provides.

Following Jesus is knowing He is always there, loving me right where I am, and guiding me when I open my heart to His word, then I know I can find peace, nomatter the circumstances.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.