Balancing Grace and Guidance
Our bed after the boys finished defacing it and surprised us with their mattress masterpiece.over.
Do you teach values or offer grace when your children make mistakes?
Grace Opens the Door
When it comes to balancing grace and correction, I’m learning it’s truly a blend of both. I’ll admit, I’m still working on the grace part—my first response is often anger, frustration, or impatience. So, when those feelings come up, I try to give myself grace first.
If I react too quickly and feel it wasn’t fair, I’ll apologize, or if I feel my reaction was appropriate, I’ll take a moment to explain why I responded that way.
These moments allow me not only to give myself grace but to show my child that I also make mistakes and am willing to apologize. To me, this is the heart of balancing grace with correction.
Balancing Parenting Styles
As I’ve studied both gentle parenting and traditional approaches, I’ve come to appreciate the value in both. Gentle parenting emphasizes compassion and empathy, while traditional methods focus on discipline and consequences, often without much empathy. The issue is that each, taken to an extreme, can fall short. Too much grace without boundaries leaves children without structure and discipline, potentially holding them back from setting and reaching their goals. On the other hand, an overly strict, empathy-free approach can leave children with emotional wounds and unresolved traumas.
The Takeaway?
Offer grace when the situation calls for it and correction when it’s needed. A memorable example of this was when I was putting clothes away on one side of the house, and my boys were unusually quiet on the other. I walked over to my bedroom and found them at my door, faces beaming. “Mama! We have a surprise for you! You’re going to love it; it’s so beautiful!” they said, thrilled. I walked into the room and saw that they’d taken markers and drawn all over my bare mattress, which I’d stripped earlier to wash the sheets. In that moment, I chose grace. To them, it was the world’s biggest drawing board!
In each moment, take a pause and reflect. Remember not to lean too far one way or the other—finding the balance between grace and guidance can create truly meaningful moments.
